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ARGUMENT FROM APOLOGETICS WEBPAGES (1) I was surfing the Net and came across this really cool webpage of apologetics.
BILL O'REILLY'S ARGUMENT (I) (1) Atheism is challenging this country's Christian roots! (3) We will make a big stink about this, and not let atheists win! (2) I mean it's so horrible, pointless, brutal and nasty.
(3) Based upon my subjective opinion, your opinion, that if everything is subjective then, perforce, God is subjective, is false. ARGUMENT FROM POSTMODERNISM (1) I'm going to prove to you that God exists. (2) If the reader finishes reading this proof, the existence of God will be proven to him/her. D.-in-Evolutionary-Biology, this proves that evolution is an unsound scientific concept. ARGUMENT FROM MYSTERIOUS USE OF PREPOSITIONS (1) It is impossible to disprove God with your puny human intellect unless you are above God. (3) Ill take that puzzled look on your face as a 'No.' (4) Therefore, God (being the highest thing ever) exists. DESIGN/TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (III) (1) If there is a designer, then God must exist. ARGUMENT FROM PERSONAL INCREDULITY (III) (1) Isn't X amazing! (3) It is beyond human ability for so many authors over so long a time to write so many books from which we could hammer such a plot. (2) No other religious text describes a god that died for our sins! (2) No other religious text describes a god that rose from the dead! (2) Similarly, the atheist side occupies another extreme side of the spectrum. (4) Therefore, the liberal position on God is the most correct. JACK CHICK'S ARGUMENT FROM COMICS (1) I have all these cool Jesus comics. ARGUMENT FROM WE ALL GOT FAITH (1) We all believe in something. (3) My faith in God is no different from your faith that the sun will rise tomorrow morning.
(2) No subjective proof can be superior to any other subjective proof. (3) Therefore, September 11th was a punishment for something we did. (2) Through centuries of vigorous apologetics we've been able to forge a more or less coherent plot for the whole Bible. ARGUMENT FROM SACRIFICE (1) The Bible said Jesus died for our sins. ARGUMENT FROM JESUS' RESURRECTION (1) The Bible said Jesus rose from the dead. (3) The Biblical worldview is as good as the scientific worldview. LIBERALS' ARGUMENT FROM MODERATION (1) The Creationist side occupies an extreme side of the spectrum. ARGUMENT FROM TERRORISM (III) (1) Terrorists destroyed the WTC, killing thousands. (3) Only an intelligent being could design so many forms.
TERCELS ARGUMENT FROM PROBABILITY (1) We should believe what probably is true. KISSING HANK'S ASS (I) (1) If some guy came up to you on the street and offered you a billion dollars for nothing in return, would you take the money or deny his existence? ARGUMENT FROM CHARITY (1) Atheists dont build hospitals. THE ENERGY ARGUMENT (1) Things that exist have energy. How dare I try to compel God to my selfish desires! ARGUMENT FROM DEAD FIREFIGHTERS (1) All those dead firefighters were blessed by a Catholic priest before they gave their lives. (2) Also, our youth group leader Skip once, like, cured a broken leg using only the power of the almighty Lord. ARGUMENT FROM SPEAKING IN TONGUES (1) My friend here, once started spontaneously speaking some jibberish that sounded to me kind of like Russian. (3) [Throws watch into forest.] (4) Therefore, God exists. (3) This something else must be God because I can't come up with a better explanation. ARGUMENT FROM FORMATTING (1) Behold, foolish atheists, I present you with an incontrovertible proof of the existence of God. (7) With the truths of these clearly established, surely you agree that Z is true as well? (2) [Insert any of the other arguments on this page in here.] (3) [Atheist refutes argument.] (4) I cannot prove there is a God any more than anyone of us can prove we really exist in a tangible world. (3) If the existence of God is proven, then God exists. RANDMANS ARGUMENT (1) This entry from the 1975 World Book Encyclopedia on evolution contains some errors that I claim to have already substantiated. ARGUMENT FROM TEEN CHRISTIAN MOVEMENT (1) God is so totally awesome, dude, and if you would pretend that Creed and POD were good bands, you would realize that. (2) If I find a watch in a forest, there must be a designer. (2) I don't understand how X could be, without something else (that I don't really understand either) making or doing X. (3) Osiris, Mithra, Ishtar, Hercules, Horus, Perseus, Bacchus, Tammuz, Hermes, and Prometheus? (2) I also think that guy called Eternal is smart with all those great arguments.
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(8) [Atheist gives up and goes home.] (9) Therefore, God exists. (d) Humankind's potential to overcome their difficulties. (4) I can use religious exemption claims to tie the IRS up in court.